bayside

The last bit of color is warming the back of Mt. Tamalpais as i gaze westward out the window now, over the mast-filled sky and up to the faint silhouette of the bird coasting the grey edge where ocean fog melts into the warm bay air. The tide is high, and the gangway from the dock to the houseboat deck is ladderlike. i'm not going down it this Saturday night. Tonight i'm cuddled in a wooly wrap, cradling a cup of tea and coaxing the last of my worries into bulleted "To Do" form. Somewhere in the dance of housesitting two residences, juggling three odd-job clients, and finding myself immersed in the seductive overwhelm of rock star land, i managed to set aside my self-construction project and it's manager (namely, my ego) has gotten a little concerned. ("back on track, foster!" it says, "there are a few things we need to do to maintain the semblance of an identity in this world, such as: paying the bills returning phone calls, and making sure you get on the plane to attend your cousin's wedding in a week!"). But, the list looks manageable, and i think i can be responsible for who i've said i'd be in the world, and still leave room for becoming whatever it is i choose to be next ( don't ask--just not yet).

Last night, i was a found-out stowaway on a boat full of rowdy sailors, who kindly included me in their ritual of wine, kettle chips, and "pretty boat" cat calls, despite my lack of knowing how to raise a jib. This morning, i facilitated the moving process of one nearly enlightened octogenarian who's daughter cooked me salmon and artichokes while i taped together wardrobe boxes and took old Henry James' books to Goodwill. Tomorrow, I'm attending a barbecue in San Francisco with people named Pheret, Frog, Kimba and Jon Ashcroft...ANYTHING could happen...

For certain: the tide is going out now, the moon is waxing, and Saturn just left Cancer (marking the end of it's first return in my life, hurrah!). Very likely: in three days, i'll be on a plane to the east coast to witness another marriage, and i'll leave everything i own sheltered under a makeshift bed in the back of my truck. Uncertain: nearly everything else, including my sanity, but: ha ha ha ha ha!

Follow Up

So, if anybody out there actually reads this blog besides me (and, believe me, I still have enough ego to read my own blog...I AM a fire sign, after all), I thought I'd actually let you know a few things that follow through on my previous posts.

1. One of these days, I am actually going to present a project on this page, instead of all my personal musings about, well, mostly myself and my perspective on things. Amy Quest is actually a bit of a LISTENING project, as opposed to a rambling project. However, I'm learning much about patience, so. For now, check out the link to the Postsecret Project, which is a very admirable listening project as well.

2. The WHITEST GIRL NAME is (drum roll please....): Molly. If you want to read about this, visit:

http://slate.msn.com/id/2116449/

3. After I gave my acknowledgement to being sick, and asked it to go on its way, I went to bed, and woke up, entirely well. I went for a run at 9:30 a.m.!!

4. NASA was successful in it's target practice...After watching from the houseboat rooftop with my naked eye, I ran to the computer and watched the live stream of the washing machine making impact with the comet. My sister and I could barely stand the resemblance of the comet's profile to the American Buffalo. Troy kept repeating, " do you think it's for real? Do you think it really happened?" Unfortunately, I think it did.

5. I I love everyone. Especially people who comment on my blog. turtle, amy, ruggles, anonymous, I love you mostest. (for the rest of you, really! It's painless! Say hi!!)

Okay, last thing. In a few hours, it will be July 6th. July 5th is my father's birthday (Happy Birthday, Dad!!!! Love to you!) and tomorrow is George W. Bush's birthday. (finding it hard to celebrate, hard to love....). However, when I get up in the morning, I know I will find it in my heart to send the man, this human (just like me) love and honor and respect, such that he might act from love, honesty, true faith, and respect for all life. I think, despite all his weaknesses, it's still possible. He just needs to know that we support his acting from LOVE, not fear, RESPECT, not pride, FAITH, not GNP. Since he's over there with the elitist G8, it might help if he were softened up by a little love. And, speaking of love, check it out! The universe is full of it. Just open your heart, your mind, and you'll receive....

Space Balls

So, I've just spent the last few hours trying to find out everything I can about this whole "Deep Impact" Mission that NASA's got going on with the University of Maryland, the Jet Propulsion Library, and Ball Aerospace & Technologies. Apparently, this has cost the American people only $333 million dollars (and, hey, that's the basic net worth of one Walton, so, what are we complaining about, Walmart Shoppers?). The scientists behind the mission (which was named Deep Impact at about the same time the name of the movie, Deep Impact, was devised, but only coincidentally) are excited to find out what's inside of a tootsie--I mean, frozen ball of dust and ice, because, despite what those other scientists say, it's anything but highly explosive antimatter. Perhaps we can learn if something inside comets contributed to life evolving on Earth! (Isn't that kind of like shooting your mother in the foot?)

Now, while I don't really believe in suing people (in my ideal world, people acknowledge what they are accountable for, and take responsibility for what they have created as a result, whether that be monetarily or otherwise), I found some relief in reading that a woman astrologer in Russia has been given permission to plead her case that the US government is disrupting the life of the cosmos and the natural balance of the universe, and in addition, infringing on the spiritual life and practice of thousands, by taking such needless, aggressive actions out on a comet of which we know nothing, other than it circles the Earth every 5.5 years, and, of course, its location at approx. 10:52 p.m. PDT July 3, 2005, so that we can slam a washing machine-sized projectile into it, and see what happens.

According to the officials, "A side benefit of the mission is that it will teach researchers something about how to deflect a comet or asteroid, in the event that one ever is heading our way". Well, Harry Walther says that it's quite likely that G.W. Bush and his administration are supporting this mission because the comet Nibiru is coming to bring about the prophecies of both Nostradamus and Revelations around 2012, and that our government plans to protect us from Armageddon. In fact, Walther even ventures to say that the war in Iraq, and possible invasions of Korea or China are likely all linked to preventing utter chaos from erupting when this comet actually comes into plain sight of the general public in the next 7 years.

I don't know, folks. Sometimes I worry that the basic thought patterns of the human race create an unnatural disturbance in the Universe, even before we take on such actions as that of blowing up a comet. I don't know how to be responsible for this, as an American, as a human, as a girl who once wanted to be an astronaut (really, though, I just wanted to build space colonies with low gravity swimming pools...). I guess I also used to be a scientist, and I performed all sorts of unnatural acts on ants in order to figure out how their nervous systems worked. But I'm prepared for a hell filled with ants slowly gnawing off my head in retribution. What's George ready for?