melting the ceiling

so, the sky split open, two and a half feet of snow poured down, then the sun came out and melted everything. there's water everywhere, and everyone i know is doing his or her best to keep a head above the coursing of emotions. but sometimes, keeping your head up only happens when you just let yourself go with it all.

i'm feeling everything right now.

the other day i went out in the snow for hours. i came home with frozen fingers. i couldn't manage removing my jacket as my hands were so immobile. i took my mittens off with my teeth. my hands were purple and gray and corpse-like. i put them in front of the fire and watched as my hands went from dead to red. the color change was accompanied by a shift in feeling... first came an itch, then a bit of a burn, and then a nearly intolerable pain. but after the agony of this experience, i ran my fingers through the soft, white, silky fur of anaya (resident dog/love). Life is pain. and life is bliss.

i look outside and think about the earth, and how she goes through this every year--receding from the surface, freezing up, painfully thawing out, and then bursting forth with life and productivity.

i'm ready to transform this pain into creativity. bring on the spring.