bayside

The last bit of color is warming the back of Mt. Tamalpais as i gaze westward out the window now, over the mast-filled sky and up to the faint silhouette of the bird coasting the grey edge where ocean fog melts into the warm bay air. The tide is high, and the gangway from the dock to the houseboat deck is ladderlike. i'm not going down it this Saturday night. Tonight i'm cuddled in a wooly wrap, cradling a cup of tea and coaxing the last of my worries into bulleted "To Do" form. Somewhere in the dance of housesitting two residences, juggling three odd-job clients, and finding myself immersed in the seductive overwhelm of rock star land, i managed to set aside my self-construction project and it's manager (namely, my ego) has gotten a little concerned. ("back on track, foster!" it says, "there are a few things we need to do to maintain the semblance of an identity in this world, such as: paying the bills returning phone calls, and making sure you get on the plane to attend your cousin's wedding in a week!"). But, the list looks manageable, and i think i can be responsible for who i've said i'd be in the world, and still leave room for becoming whatever it is i choose to be next ( don't ask--just not yet).

Last night, i was a found-out stowaway on a boat full of rowdy sailors, who kindly included me in their ritual of wine, kettle chips, and "pretty boat" cat calls, despite my lack of knowing how to raise a jib. This morning, i facilitated the moving process of one nearly enlightened octogenarian who's daughter cooked me salmon and artichokes while i taped together wardrobe boxes and took old Henry James' books to Goodwill. Tomorrow, I'm attending a barbecue in San Francisco with people named Pheret, Frog, Kimba and Jon Ashcroft...ANYTHING could happen...

For certain: the tide is going out now, the moon is waxing, and Saturn just left Cancer (marking the end of it's first return in my life, hurrah!). Very likely: in three days, i'll be on a plane to the east coast to witness another marriage, and i'll leave everything i own sheltered under a makeshift bed in the back of my truck. Uncertain: nearly everything else, including my sanity, but: ha ha ha ha ha!