euphoria

so, its still my first impulse when i see a dandelion flower gone fuzzy to pick it and BLOW its little parachute seeds into the sky. but, i have to admit that only a few nanoseconds later, i think about harvesting the greens beneath the flower and making soup. dandelion greens, garlic, ginger and miso are an absolute tonic, especially in the spring when everything bursts forth and requires a little caretaking.

i'm still reliving scenes from my recent trip to california, amidst the present living of my days in colorado. nothing can be ignored or repressed: the red tulips demand all my attention at the same time as my memory of fresh strawberries at the marin farmers market. the colors converge and i taste the sweet seedy berry with the brush of petals from the freshly plucked blossom in my hand. my sensefields are maxed with collections and recollections. i smell eucalyptus and fennel in the same moment i touch silty river soil and spread it across my dry hands. i hear three part harmony as i cradle the trembling bird that flew into my window. there is more life than i know what to make of, and it all wants me to notice. i can't refuse.

of course, my body has had a few rebuttals: i've felt terribly ill since i've come home--sore throat, achy body, piercing ear pain--but the spring holds nothing back. my sickness cannot protect me. i must be part of the living, despite the deep fear of participating so effectively. thing is, i cannot fail, i can only grow more perfect in my awareness of it all, in my intake of it all, in my love of it all. my acceptance of the lack of control over it all alongside the recognition of my choice to be a part of it all makes me more alive than ever. i choose to engage in this dynamic life, to receive from it and give to it and be with it. hooray for spring.